Sex on a Conference Table?

We received an email from a customer this morning:

Look this is an awkward subject to bring up but I think it needs to be addressed. We have a situation where 2 employees were “cavorting” on the old conference table. This one you have made is the replacement. According to your care instructions anything over 50lbs will break it?

Please advise. 

After we stopped laughing, I decided to answer the question in our blog, because – well, how could I resist?  It’s true that our care instructions (which we send prior to shipping our tables) have a reference to the maximum weight you should put on the table.  Here’s the exact wording:

Weight restrictions: DO NOT sit or lie on the table. The maximum weight which can be placed in a single spot is 50 lbs.

Why did we include this?  And why a 50 pound limit?  Because we are well aware that a conference room can be a tempting spot for “cavorting’, as our client so delicately put it.  Which is fine, but please:  don’t cavort on the table.  Unless we have been told specifically that cavorting is to be expected, our tables aren’t structured to support the weight of two active adults. If you think about it, most people weigh more than a hundred pounds, and while cavorting, the total load can add up pretty quick.  Our tables are made with steel reinforcement in the base and under the top, but we can’t guarantee that they are cavortable in every place.  The most likely result of vigorous cavorting will be that the table tips over.  If the load is concentrated at the ends or corners of the top, it’s possible that they might break.  Although I don’t actually know whether there would be any damage – we haven’t tested them that way.

So what should you do if you thinking cavorting might be on your agenda?  It’s simple:  tell us up front, during our design process.  No need to be explicit about it:  just tell us that the table must accomodate 500 lbs, in motion, at any point on the top, and we’ll adjust the structure accordingly.  This will affect the cost of the table.